Driving down these roads makes my mind crash. I must stop and dream. Wait, not dream. Nightmare. This town and many that surround haunt my dreams and days. All the people I know and love have been here. A grave a a true friend sits past where I go every single day. How do people live with the pain of a town where there are so many memories. Love and hate, happiness and sorrow, horrified and unassailable. I'm unsure how there can be so many feelings in such an area. So many things gone right; but so many things gone wrong. Almost every night I howl and bawl; waking up from night terrors in a damp bed of sweat.This is why I'm about 200 miles west. To change it all around. My life in ten years will be exhilarating and safe.
I can hear my children screaming, playing and laughing. I see mud and toys of many kind all over my house. I see my large house in a beautiful area. On the other hand I see mud everywhere in the summer, and trails in the winter. I see the outside of my gorgeous house being very manly. I image myself having a settled down family. I imagine myself having a steady job that pays a nice sum of money. This way I can support my family.